How Could You Be So Heartless?

Hey beautiful people :)

MY INTERNET WENT M.I.A ON ME FOR ONE DAMN WEEK! CAN YOU IMAGINE?! I mean I was getting so heated up I actually asked a friend to log in my facebook and let me know what's going on. I swear imma need facebook rehab soon, its ridiculous.

Annnnnd shout-out to Joey! I'm sorry boo. Here's your long awaited post hehe. Oops :)

Anyhow, so Tia thinks I was slightly too harsh in my last post, and i'm turning into a feminist. Haha, puh-lease. Right!?

But allow it. That sinking in decided we be turning the tables over. Y'all know I gotta keep it neutral ;)

Tonight i'm giving you the priviledge of going inside the mind of a certain boy. Actually applies to most if not all boys, or men, shall we say? I think it's important them ladies understand what's going on, you know?

Instead of easily pointing out the stereotypical "player" label, I mean come on, there IS a reason for everything.

You probably wondering how I know, well we've spent alot of time together and although we lost most contact now (thank you distance, once again)

He was my ex, we had our differences, we're close friends now. In a way i'm glad, learnt so much from him.

He grew up sympathizing with Hip Hop ballads like LL Cool J’s I Need Love and harmonizing with RnB classics like Ralph Tresvant’s Girlfriend. He would relate to lines from artists like Diddy, who begged for “one bad chick so I could spoil her”.

No WAY would he ever be a player. He would wake up every day, look in the mirror, and tell himself that it’s too far-fetched for him to be that man who dogged out women. He's way too emotional. He cared about people’s feelings. Then he started noticing that not all players are cut throat. Not all willfully disrespect woman.

But most importantly, the biggest ones were the most affectionate and emotional. Generally, they were mama’s boys, like him, who desired nothing more than the attention of a woman in search of the affection and pampering they received growing up. And since no one can live up to mama, options expand, and the roster grows. Now he listens to tracks from R. Kelly, and he relates to every line from Playas Get Lonely as “I let my drinks decide who’s the next chick.”

By some twist of fate, he had become a...*drumroll*...

Yep! That's it. Right there.

A womanizer.

He remembers, when he was 10 his godbrother told him you need to have game to get a female. Godbrother had all the women, and (let's call him Kanye :D) Kanye, had none. So he went to his room, took out a composition book, wrote “Game” at the top. He remembers being laughed at for the clothes he wore. So he started watching music videos, and dressed just like them. He was teased because of his round lining on his hair, so he made sure that his lining never took away from his wavy hair.

He learned that laughter was the easiest way to stay on a girl’s mind and keep them thinking of you, so he perfected his silliness and went from annoying to comical. But most importantly, he learned the pattern to Pac Man. OH yeah. EVERYone knows every level on Pac Man has a pattern ;)

And as long as you follow it, you can’t lose. For women, it’s their ego. Take what they love the most about themselves, and pretend to not notice it. Take what they are the most subconscious about, and embrace them for it. Suddenly, they can’t get enough of you. By the time Kanye reached high school, he was a true student of “the game”, but his transformation was not complete.

He learned the 11th man theory, and never looked back. Take the most beautiful woman, and surround her with 10 men who constantly tell her how beautiful she is and worship her. She doesn’t want them. But the 11th man comes in, acknowledges her, and proceeds to ignore her. That’s the man she wants, the one who could care less.

So Kanye perfected acting as if he didn’t notice them, and as expected, he became highly sought after. And he'd intend to fall in love, but didn’t realize he was subconsciously manipulating multiple women.

He desired them all. No intentions to hurt them or lead them on, but enjoy their attention and to let them know he noticed them noticing him, and he thought of them.

He told himself it was harmless because he was single, and when he does make the commitment, it would all cease. He now laughs at that logic, the bachelor’s contradiction. Because somehow or another, the commitment never came.

He would ask himself every day, why don’t I have just one? Why is it no one will ever be my one and only? I have so much love to give, but no single person to share it with. But that’s because he was unknowingly sharing love with ALL of them. Now to be honest, he genuinely loved every woman he has ever been with, even if it was just for the moment. He never meant to deceive or lead anyone on. At times he even felt they were taking advantage of him.

How easy it is to blame everyone else than to acknowledge your own shortcomings.

His heart was telling him he wanted just one, but his ego had hold of his actions. He needed this girl for this, didn’t want to hurt this girl with that, and saw so much potential in them all. He was slowly gaining the love he wanted in pieces, instead of finding the whole.

What gets lost with both men and women is that some of the worst players, aren’t outright dogs. They were the ones who didn’t have what it took to originally get who they wanted, so they transformed to be more desirable. And somewhere in that transformation they lost sight of their original dream. They saw the potential of love, and as they grew, so did their grandiose.

They tried to stay neutral, but the affection was too addictive and they succumbed to temptation. In their hearts, they are being sincere; they just want a mother’s love, attention, and affection. And since no woman can equal up to that great woman, they accept the best qualities from all. They are still a work in progress, it just takes them time to realize that they have become the man they never wanted to be. But don’t pity them…oh believe me they are enjoying the ride the entire way, but they do intend to get back on track.

Take a minute, think about it

You're (boy) friend may not be just a heartless manwhore.

Dig deeper.

bed and sleep await my humble arrival,

*sighs in pleasure*

have a lovely night, lovely people :)

hugs & kisses.

Craigslist.

"What Happened to All the Nice Girls?"

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the men out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice girls?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic gal pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. She'd tag along with you when you went shopping for the nights "smokin' date", stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and listen to you while you droned on about how horribly the (other) girl that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your guyfriends about how she was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to her. They probably teased you because they thought she had a crush on you. Given that her behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for her, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, she totally wasn't your type. I mean, she was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress herself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, sexy, rich, stylish girlfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the girlfriend got more serious and spending time with this other girl was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating her. More time passed, and the girlfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to her weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered whores blondes and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice girls?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice girl. You used her for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at her consideration and resented her devotion. You valued the aloof girlfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, she took the hint and moved on with her life. She probably came to realize, one day, that men aren't really attracted to girls who hold doors open; think you smell great when you wearing the same shirt for 4 days; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. She came to realize that, if she wanted a man like you, she'd have to act more like the girlfriend that you had. She probably cleaned up her look, started making some money, hid behind a mask of make up, and generally acted like more of an bitch than she ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, she's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of her is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice girls" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most men will only have a handful of faithful girls stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice girl, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.

2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.

3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice girl, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in women. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice girl you claim to want has, in reality, shed her nice girl mantle and is out there looking to unleash her cynicism and resentment onto someone JUST LIKE YOU.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice gril then, and she certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Girl.

Solo

So i just listening to kid cudi yesterday

and after recent events, its like i could hear just the words

rather than the beat, and this man was made to rap

his words lined my eardrums with honey

sounds kinda sticky and nasty

but still you get the point, sweet stuff :D

He got me thinking on two songs

''man on the moon '' and ''mr solo dolo''

what stuck out for me was loneliness

it is a state of being that many humans face

a fear that no one understands their real worth

it is not just enough to be friends these days

its almost like people want you to leech onto them

this is why pets are becoming increasingly popular

because they can take your abuse and still come cuddle

guess what mr. and mrs. lack of self confidence

being alone is essential to self growth

dont count on anyone if you dont have to

for every friend you make you make an enemy

Even your parents are not excluded from bringing you down

no matter how much being social is important

what really matter is you loving you before expecting anyone else to

because on those lonely nights you cry, it is only you that hurts

when you should be smiling and enjoying your own company

i mean think about it

ever fall down and hurt yourself

but look around and no one noticed

what do you, just pick yourself up

but the minute poeple notice, its almost like the pain is more

the human mind loves attention and it is quite disgusting to admit

there is no worse state of mind than always wanting to be noticed

it causes greed and jealousy, two terrible demons

For example, I threw up half my stomach contents last night

not sure why but no one was there to pat my back

when it was over, i did what i had to and went to bed

didnt even waste time calling and crying out to my parents

would have been great if they brought me ginger but i got it my self

it would have been great if they tucked me in but cmon i am 19 years old

grow out of your primordial need to be loved by others

and learn that you were most likely born alone and you will be buried alone

and the next time you feel betrayed

look at the situation and ask

who betrayed me? did i trust them for the wrong reasons

ignoring the people who actually care for you flaws and all

On the Wire

Damn. 3 days, no i didnt forget!

so caught up with work by the time I get home its a bee-line to the sack. *yawn*

had a great couple of days though, met up with a bunch of long lost friends, good times in the making :)

anyhow, back to the point of this post,

so time to lay down some quick advice and relate some life lessons ;)

addressing how to handle a break up / fight properly

am not just referring to people, this also applies to friendship

who is to say my way is best

but it sure is better than some stupid things i see people do

first rule of break up is never ''announce'' the relationship to begin with

the world would honestly be so much better without facebook

i mean it is so personal these days

and we allow it by posting our fights, family drama and ''love''

i remember when people had problems you would know because they told you

not on a long status airing out your lack of intelligence

using curse words constantly shows a low IQ and lack of self esteem

second rule is a decent break up environment

DONT text, email or tweet(see what i mean) your decision

look for a nice open space and talk gently

stating out your reason with reason

now if it starts to get heated

remember to always keep a low tone for civility

and if you cant help up it, just up and walk away

give space to clear your thoughts but DONT run away

it will only agitate feelings of resentment from the other party

third rule, never forget what it was like

the good are great but we always remember the bad more

not sure why but its human folly to hold on to past crimes

we always want justice and penance

it was good at some point

you probably threw out some words like ''i love you''

or ''best i ever had'' you know the regular corny crap

use that hold the friendship side of things

romantic involvements are bad to begin with if you are doing it without reason

but what is done is done, so salvaging a bond helps

i hate more than anything people who throw away relationships

i mean come one, we are not children out growing dolls

treat people the way you want to be treated

and people wonder why they are called ''whores''

fourth rule, don't jump into a re bound

biggest mistake is thinking the next nice who comes your way is MR RIGHT

NO he is exploiting you on the 11th man rule

sure he is cute but is that a real reason of attraction

what about you ACTUALLY get to know a person

one month is not enough, even after years of marriage couples still dont know

coming in to act the exact opposite of what you think you have

he will seem great but it will end because you have started an idiotic pattern

a pattern of dating and dumping, then moving ''on to the next one''

don't let your insecurities

cage down you morality

so what if all your friends have a cuddle buddy

man's need for affection is over rated, it never ends well 90% of the time

look around you, how many did you know that were dating that are still together?

years of ''dating'' can end any day but it doesn't have to end

because a real relationship isn't based on fb status changes and kissing

look up the real definition of romance

remove from your head the warped ideology of modern lust

i'm out for the night

much love

xoxo

Testing the Waters.

Blogsville! I'm back ;)

So yes, i've decided to give into this blogging fever too...yet again.

After having many failed attempts at blogging. All ending with either me giving up after the first post or just forgetting that I even have a blog site. This time it WILL be different. (or so she says)

haha. Oh well. Thought i'd might as well give it another shot you know. Alot on my mind and this just so happens to be the only safe way to vent. :)

Soo, unto more important things,

its hard to be in a good mood 24hrs

notice how you start off thinking TODAY will be great

you wake on time for class, your shower seems to make you sing

and the girl/guy you have a crush on comes up to hug you

SNAP OUT OF IT someone steps on your new shoes

the guy next to you in class smells like hot armpit

i mean what happened to the simple days

when your worries were the well being of your teddy bear and dolls

the world is so caught up in unnecessary activities

the more you do, the more you have to fix

notice how you get a new friend and somehow make a new enemy

it is the inevitable in today's society

you know what i say, break free

how many things and people do you need in your life

on face-book i have over 1000, what the duck-sauce!

that is obviously 99% fake ones and 1% real ones

i am serious here, i actually believe in a small percent of humanity

what is up with all this hoarding

accumulation of cars, women, wealth

i feel like no one really has purpose

sure you say you want success but there is more to life than that

why must you always want to make a point or be seen and heard

i am guilty of it and i know who to blame

i am just tired of being told about the afterlife

and also being pushed to pursue material possessions

let that marinate

are you doing too much

is your stress your fault

stop blaming humans, YOU ARE ONE TOO

i'll be back soon

kisses

xoxo